Goldie Adair

Goldie is 2 months old today! I needed to write down her birth story (like a month ago) because I am forgetting things... mom brain is all too real. 

So, this was definitely my hardest/longest pregnancy. I found out I was pregnant when Hendrix was 9 months old. We were totally shocked.. like you cry because you can't believe it, and you're not that excited.. but then you cry because you feel guilty ha. 
At this point Mathis was super sick. We couldn't figure out what was going on.. we were going to doctor after doctor. He could barely get out of bed each day. He was just about to put pharmacy school on hold for a few months to try and get healthy. We were both super stressed. Then, add crazy morning all day sickness. It was rough, to say the least. Around 7 months I started getting the worst pelvic pain. It hurt to walk, pick up the boys, pretty much do anything. My doctor told me I had pelvic separation (SPD), and there was really nothing to do. I'm thinking having three pregnancies/ babies in less than 3 years might have something to do with it ha ha. 

I was so ready to have this baby. I was supposed to be induced at 39 weeks, which was December 21. My mom flew in to town, I had the house cleaned.. we were ready. Mathis called the hospital to see what time we should come in. They said they were super busy, we were on the list, and they'd call us when they could. Ugh. We waited all day, and called again at like 7. Still no room. I saw my doctor the next day, she stripped my membranes, and told me hopefully they'd have room in the hospital that day. 
The hospital called at 10 that night, and said be here in an hour!! 
Of course we rushed over. I was measuring at like a 2. They said the doctor didn't want to start pitocin until 5 the next morning, so just hang out. They didn't hook me up to anything, in hopes I would sleep. They started pitocin at 4:15ish, the doctor on call broke my water at 5 am.. I was still at a 2. BLAH. The contractions were getting really painful after that. I was so scared to get an epidural after my last experience, NIGHTMARE. At 8, I decided I needed it. I kept waiting for the relief of the epidural, but I was still having really painful contractions. I told the nurse I needed to push at like 8:15. She checked me, and said, its go time. I pushed one time, and my sweet little girl was born at 8:21. 7 pounds, 20 inches! We were able to leave the next day, (Christmas Eve) to be home with the boys. 
Even though delivery is freaking barbaric, and so gnarly... I think I could re-live this over and over and over. The moment they lay that sweet baby on your chest.... I don't know how you ever stop having babies.

It's hard to remember our life before we had her. Goldie is the best best baby. The boys absolutely love her, and Mathis is completely smitten with our sweetie. I am so grateful Heavenly Father has a plan for us. We weren't planning on having another baby right away, but I am so glad He knew differently!!! The love I have for her is truly overwhelming ❤️❤️. I could never explain the strength of my love for my kids. 

 our christmas baby

 as close to heaven as you can get

holy crap, I have 3 kids

crosby is two.

I know I'm a little late in documenting this, but Crosby turned 2 in February. I honestly can't believe how fast the last two years have gone! (I know, that's what every mom in the world says...but its true.) The night before Crosby's birthday, I made a list of things he does so I can always remember him at this perfect/not-so-perfect age.

• favorite song: "I love to see the temple." 
• knows/sings the ABC's
• can count to 10, but skips a number or two
• loves cars, bikes, planes, and trucks
• gives kisses to all 
• healthiest eater--snacks on raw veggies and fruits all day
• stills lays his head on my shoulder and let's me sing to him at night
• the best older brother 
• favorite color: purple and black
• loves being outside
• best friends: henni, dad, rowen + hadley
• very polite--always says please and thank you.
• so so sweet--can usually be talked out of a tantrum
• can't stay in a room too long without coming to look for me. I usually only get 1 minute before he realizes I'm gone. He has a few attachment issues ha! 

I wrote a million more things, but I'll stop there. I love my sweet side-kick so much. 

We celebrated his birthday with friends and family at the park. It was low-key, but absolutely perfect! 

 paper airplane throwing contest 

pin the propeller on the airplane  

best friends

some of my greatest friends

life with 2

I feel like the last few months (years, really) have completely flown by. I look at my boys and cannot believe how old they are. Hendrix is 8 months, and Crosby just turned 2! Life with two kids has been a bit of an adjustment, but it hasn’t exactly been as HARD as I imagined. I mean, most days I don’t shower until 4 (if at all), my house is only clean tidy between the hours of 8 pm, and 8 am, whenever we go out, one kid may or may not be crying, etc. etc. I think it goes without saying our lives are anything but calm, organized, or perfect.... ha we are mostly a walking circus.

 But to me, I love it. The crazy doesn’t bother me. I think one of the hardest things with two kids (besides finding room in the grocery cart with a toddler and car seat or baby, or trying to help Crosby while nursing, or loading/unloading the kids in the car, trying to hold onto Crosby and Henni while walking across the parking lot, trying to get out of the house for 9 o’clock church.....), is how fast time seems to go. I find myself just staring at them. I love watching their interactions, and facial expressions.  I love that quote, “the days are long, but the years are short.” That is so true. Some days I am counting the minutes until Mathis gets home, or bedtime... whichever comes first. Some days are smooth sailing, while others I have to hide for a few minutes. But, I know I will miss these days.

I came across this one quote, and I try to keep it in mind everyday.

“You will NEVER have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they will be a little older than they were today. This day is a GIFT. Just breathe and notice, smell and touch them, study their faces and little feet. Pay attention. Relish the charms of the present. ENJOY TODAY!”

 ha ha a common occurrence

hendrix

I have 2 kids! Sometimes I still can't believe it. I want to write down the day/ days leading up to having Hendrix, so I don't forget the little things...

This summer was pretty crazy for us. Mathis finished his first year of pharmacy school at the end of May. That day we moved from our apartment into a house. The very next day, we moved to St. George for 1 month for Mathis's out-of-state rotation. I had a lot of stress leaving a house filled with boxes, knowing I would have to come home 37 weeks pregnant and unpack everything.
We got home on a Sunday, and the next day I had a doctors appointment. I had missed a couple of appointments in between since we were out of state. My doctor was delivering a baby, so I saw his nurse. She measured me, and said I was measuring quite a bit smaller than 37 weeks. She didn't seem too concerned, but said let's just do an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that there wasn't a lot of amniotic fluid. She called my doctor, and he said to run over to the hospital. He said it was likely I would be delivering my baby that day. I was freaking out. First of all, my house was a COMPLETE disaster! How could I bring a baby home to that? Second, Mathis was starting his first day of a new, 4-week rotation. I worried he wouldn't be able to take time off. Third, my mom wasn't in town, so I would need to find someone to watch Crosby....etc. etc. Total freakout.
Mathis had to call his internship and tell them what was going on. We went over to the hospital where they ran some tests and did another ultrasound. They told me the baby weighed 6.9, and since the baby had moved (his) position, there was actually plenty of fluid. They sent us home. I was both relieved, and disappointed. I was glad I had longer to prepare, but I REEEEAAALLYYY wanted to meet this babe, and know if it was a boy or a girl!

Fast forward 2 weeks. At this point I'm literally doing everything I can think of to induce labor. (Which by-the-way, I think all of these are totally fake. Pure coincidence if it works.) I ate the spiciest foods, went to the gym, walked down the street with one foot on the curb, and one on the ground, drank lots of caffeine, played dance dance, bounced on a yoga ball for hours, yada yada. Nothing. So, I reluctantly went to my 39 week appointment. I'm doing everything to convince my doctor to just induce me already. He finally gives me a date, just a few days from then. July 6, at 2am. Wait, 2 am?!

my last pregnancy picture, about to head to the hospital! 

first time holding my baby

So, we show up at the hospital. After signing paperwork and answering 10000 questions, they finally start me around 3:30. I was already starting to have contractions on my own, but the pitocin sped things along. At around 6 my contractions were really bad. I was holding out for the epidural, because I didn't want that to slow everything down. I finally told them I needed it. The anesthesiologist came in right away. She tried 3 times, to get the needle in!! The first two times she kept hitting blood vessels. The third attempt she told me she was going to go higher up my spine. She said she didn't like going up that high because it's not as effective. K, after hearing that, and being poked 3 times, I sort of wanted to die. She just kept apologizing to me, which didn't instill a whole lot of confidence. The epidural definitely dulled my contractions, but I could still feel them pretty strong. At 8, I told the nurse I felt like I needed to push. She mozied  on over and checked me. Yep. Go time. The doctor was just about to go into a c-section, but she rushed him over to my room. I pushed for 5 minutes. I know, thats not a long time, but when I can feel pretty much EVERYTHING, it felt like an eternity. At one point I looked at Mathis and said, I just can't. The doctor told me to push one more time so I could meet my surprise baby. This is the moment I was so glad I didn't know the sex. I swear it gave me the strength for one more. I couldn't wait to find out. When Henni came out, I was SO excited. I was hoping for another boy. . He weighed 7 pounds, 12 ounces, and 21 inches long. My big baby. He had a lot of dark hair, and the loudest cry I've ever heard ha.
He was nameless for almost 2 days! Of course we only had 1 girl name, but nothing for a boy.

trying to walk around afterwards ha. 

leaving the hospital

So, after I delivered, I started getting the worst headaches. The nurse said it was a common side effect to the epidural, and all the medicine. After going home, on the third day, my headache was unbearable. The second I stood up, the pain was so bad I immediately started bawling. I had to take Hendrix to the doctor, and I threw up in the parking lot. Mathis and I went back to the E.R. Apparently, when the anesthesiologist was putting in the epidural, she kept puncturing the sack holding my spinal fluid. It was leaking from the holes in my back, causing the gnarliest migraines. To fix it, a new anesthesiologist came in, drew blood from my arm, and inserted it back into my spine. Essentially I got another epidural, without the great numbing medicine. She said my headaches would go away, but now I would have back pain for a few months. Great. So, other than the epidural not working, feeling everything, and having migraines, oh and back pain, my labor was great. ha ha.

cros is obsessed with giving him kisses. 

Mathis, Crosby and I are completely obsessed with our newest addition. Cros will not stop giving him kisses. But, I mean, who can blame him? He has become the chunkiest, most delicious baby. I can't believe I'm the mom of two boys. But what I really can't believe, is how lucky I am.

it's hard to believe

I was going through some pictures yesterday, (you know, when you put your kid to bed and can't help but look through pictures of them... missing them so much? I'm not the only one who does this, right?) and I came across this one..

 How does time go by so fast? I feel like I just took this picture. My little boy has changed so much! It's hard to believe that in the blink of an eye my baby grew into a toddler. This morning after I got him up from his nap, I just held him in my arms, and told him that he's my best friend. Even though some days are hard, I cherish the time we get to spend together. I know it's only a matter of time before I look at this picture and will wonder where the time has gone.

I bought a book called, "I Love You So..." It is the sweetest book; I cry every time I read it. My favorite page... "I can't imagine life before you came along. You are the music to my dance and my song. I am meant for you, and you are meant for me, the one I love forevermore. Undeniably." 
Just tear my heart out now!!

birthday partyyy

This is a little late, but we had Crosby's birthday party on Valentines Day. My parents were coming into town, and that day just worked out perfectly. Valentine's day will always be so special to me.. it was the day we brought Cros home from the hospital! I'm still a little bit in denial that my baby is ONE!!

Our friends bought the cutest house up the road from us, so of course I weaseled my way into having Cros' party at their house. It turned out perfect thanks to the Cosgrave's!

i'm sort of embarrassed about this... but i totally guessed these stats the night before the party. He's actually 30 inches, and had 5 teeth at the time haha

for real, this teepee was the death of us. It took sooo long to make!

we made this shirt for his birthday. So easy. Thanks Wal-Mart

this is one of my favorite pictures! Mathis' parents were driving home from their mission in Vermont, and surprised us the morning of the party by just showing up! We were soooo surprised and excited!

someone is obsessed with blueberries. He picked each one off, then sat there not knowing what to do with the cake. ha little health nut.

finally figured it out

 

ha i love lynds

books are the best presents for this one

my whole world

**I'm not sure why, but some of these pictures uploaded a little blurry. Ahhh, my biggest pet peeve ha